Losing It While Catching It.

I dreamt about baseball last night. About catching it, about being a catcher. About what a solid position the catcher is. Watching it all from behind the plate down below the hitter and umpire. Symbolically perhaps I dreamt of losing my virginity, or rather shooting a soft core porn movie with my Middleton Cardinals State Champion catcher who caught my virtue, sweetly, calmly, lovingly, excitedly. He was my first. I was not his. How perfect. A senior to my sophomore, an Irish Catholic to my undiscovered Nature Girl Vedantist. What was he doing in my dream last night and why was I shooting such a film with him? Again, something I had never done before, and doing it with someone safe and seemingly secure eliminating the potential fear of the unknown. I was fairly comfortable on the set but there were no booms and I was not 'miked' since I was partially clothed, I alerted the sound guy to the situation and continued with my work until I woke up. I don't think I had thought about my virtue-taker for sometime. At least since that minor league player asked for my number a few weeks ago... But what I realize now is that you must let go if you are going to gain anything.